When kids try to sneak breast milk and gasoline onto planes, wash their mouths out with SoaP.

Confession: last night I saw SoaP. Some comments.

[Spoiler alert: you already know how it ends, but I will reveal aspects of the movie which are more hilarious if you don't know they're coming.]

Opening Credits
Most movies just flash the names of the people most essential to the film's creation, but SoaP is not most movies. After “Samuel L. Jackson” fades, “Snakes” materializes in the center of the screen. Seconds later “On A Plane” shows up right underneath. NICE.

Awareness of Own Far-Fetchedness
(a) After learning from Agent Flynn that the plane is infested with poisonous snakes, Agent Harris prefaces his request for a snake expert with an incredulous “I can't believe I'm saying this.”
(b) Stewardess Claire is quite aware of her disbelief upon asking the passengers if any among them knows how to fly a plane. (Both pilots die.)
(c) When Sammy utters the picture's most memorable line (“That's it! Enough is enough! I have had it with these motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!”), we too have had it with the snakes and (more generally) the movie -- about 85 minutes have elapsed and 20 more is all we can take.

Mentions of Interrogation Techniques
Two.

Snake/Penis Humor
Three.
First human victims are a young couple trying to gain membership in the Mile High Club.
Next victim is a man who's begun to urinate after referring to his penis as “big boy.” The snake pops out of the toilet and goes right for the good stuff.
A sleeping old drunk woman is aroused by a slitherer, then killed by it.

Stereotypes: Black Guys
Groups of three black guys may consist of one rap star and two childhood friends, both of whom are quite fat.
When someone loses his cool in a tense situation, it's the black guy, and he reaches for a gun.
When someone loses his cool in a tense situation, the older black guy knows how to snatch the gun back and restore order.
Tough black guys like to cheesily bond with white surfer guys.

Stereotypes: White Surfer Guys
White surfer guys drink Red Bull and lots of it.

Stereotypes: Asian Guys
Asian mob bosses like to karate fight in their spare time.
Asian mob bosses are ridiculously fit.
Asian kickboxers are actually quite sensitive.

Stereotypes: Venomous Snake Traffickers
VSTs tend to be white, male, unshaven, scraggly-haired.
VSTs tend to wear trucker hats without a trace of irony. Also, tight jeans.
VSTs own shotguns.

Stereotypes: Pompous Older British Men
POBM are pompous.
POBM are often suffocated by boa constrictors and you feel the least bad for them because they were douchebags all along.

Stereotypes: Eastern European Women
EEW like olive oil.
EEW carry their babies in a sling. The sling is in the front.
EEW have hot accents.
EEW are hot.
EEW have expertise in removing snake venom.

The Tuesday Night Audience at 23 St and 8 Ave
HOLY CRAP did the audience blow. The theater was only 25-40% full, but that's enough to know when the audience is reacting to something. Some things and how the audience reacted:

Thing	Reaction
opening credits: “On a Plane” fades in	silence
Eddie Kim (Asian mob boss) kills prosecutor with baseball bat; we see only the swings and blood splattering all over his white suit	not laughter
interrogators to WSG (the witness): we know you were there, your fingerprints are all over it; plastic bag with Red Bull can and magazine tossed onto table	not laughter
stewardess tells WSG his decision to testify against Eddie Kim is “hot?”	not laughter
urinating man appears to have huge snake for a penis	not laughter
Sam Jackson tazes snakes	not laughter
Flynn: We need to create a barrier between us and the snakes	not laughter
Flynn explains to WSG why WSG can't leave safe area: if you die, this was all for nothing	not laughter
airhead lady defends her suggestion to take pictures of the snakes so experts can have proper antivenoms ready (POBM had mocked her): it's called email, dickwad	not laughter
boa constrictor makes surprise appearance by falling through some sort of ceiling	not laughter
POBM hurls airhead's yappy dog at boa	not laughter
Flynn delivers indelible “...motherfucking snakes on this motherfucking plane!” line	applause without laughter
after Sam declares he's going to “open some windows” (OMG he meant by firing bullets at them!), one snake flung from the cockpit wraps around airhead's neck; sensitive kickboxer rips it off	laughter! no, JK, the reation was in fact: not laughter

I checked again, and the audience seemed to be composed of humans, not (say) androids or electric sheep. This experience was reminiscent of my watching in a bar full of strangers the World Cup Final. The TV announcer mentioned the French coach refused to have (some astrological sign)s on his team and strongly preferred not to field (some other astrological sign)s. Wide-eyed and agape, I thought, AREN'T YOU BATSHIT INSANE IF YOU EXCLUDE FROM THE POOL FROM WHICH YOU WILL CREATE A WORLD-CLASS SOCCER TEAM TEN PERCENT OF THE POPULATION BASED SOLELY ON THE BIRTH MONTH OF THAT TEN PERCENT? but no one else in the bar seemed to notice. (At least they might have been tuning out the announcer; there is no tuning out Samuel L. Jackson.)