Media Review: Astrology

1. A follow-up on that nutty French soccer coach.

According to MSNBC:

Domenech was ridiculed for his aversion to players born under the Scorpio sign, including such experienced players as Arsenal midfielder Robert Pires.

“I do not base myself only on astrology, but in the end, it can have an influence on my decisions,” he said.

After beating Spain, Brazil and Portugal, no one doubts his strategy now.

This last sentence is false. For example, I doubt the strategy to the extent it is influenced by astrology. You know who else should? You. Also, everyone else.

“I agree, sometimes it did not seem to be self-evident,” he said.

Maybe there's a language barrier here, but is Domenech actually suggesting that most of the time (or even any of the time) the truth of astrology is self-evident? Please excuse me while I clean up the cerebral cortex which has inconveniently exploded all over my monitor.


2. NYT snarks it up.

My favorite part:

“Pluto does not take prisoners,” [Richard Brown, an astrologer in Toronto] said. “World War II was your essential Pluto moment.”

Jigga what?


3. The Skeptic's Dictionary takes a shot.

(a) I like the portmanteau in the website name.

(b) I would have gone with “http://skepdic.com/astrology.html” rather than “http://skepdic.com/astrolgy.html,” but, like, whatever, it's cool.

(c) The reader comment “Astrology is Bigotry” is a little bizarre. I agree that astrology has no scientific basis. Bob Steiner combines this premise with the definition:

Bigotry, n. Prejudgment of a person based upon an accident of birth over which the person has no control, and which has no scientific validity.

to deduce that astrology is bigotry. My problem is that this definition seems to have been pulled from somewhere between Mr. Steiner's belly button and his kneecaps. It's pretty boring, but you can see for yourself: five reputable online dictionaries don't say anything about scientific validity in their definitions of bigot(ry):

one
two
three
four
and five

Personally, I would've gone with one of these:

• Astrology is carcinogenic. Carcinogenic is an adjective meaning “cancer-causing” or “having no scientific validity.”


• Astrology fucked your mom. Fucked your mom is a phrase meaning “engaged in sexual intercourse with the woman who gave birth to you” or “having no scientific validity.”


• Astrology chokes in clutch situations. Clutch situations is a baseball term meaning “in the seventh inning or later of a one-run or tie game”or “rigorous scientific trials.”

4. Cosmo girl! or maybe CosmoGIRL! (I have no clue how to punctuate magazine titles like this) has a deal for you.

Daily Horoscope on your Cell Phone: $2.49 per month, charged directly to your phone bill.

I can beat this offer. Suppose a typical horoscope is 250 characters. For $2.00 per month, every day I will text you a completely random string of 250 characters, including but not limited to letters, numbers, punctuation marks, and spaces. My offer is better for two reasons.
(a) It saves you $0.49 per month.
(b) Since the strings of symbols which daily appear on your cell phone will be incomprehensible, you will not read them in an attempt to glean meaning. Therefore you will not absorb as having a shred of truth a load of bullshit, whereas there is a nonzero probability you will absorb some bullshit if you subscribe to Cosmo(...)'s service.


5. Notorious B.I.G. speaks the truth in his timeless classic “Big Poppa.”
[thanks to reader Aaron for assistance on this one]

Most of these niggaz think they be mackin but they be actin
Who they attractin with that line, "What's your name, what's
your sign"?
Soon as he buy that wine I just creep up from behind
And ask what your interests are, "who you be with"?
Things to make you smile, what numbers to dial

He gets it. This is no surprise as Ready to Die is one of the ten best albums of all time.