Rolling Back Artistic Expression and Political Speech; Women

Tonight's Featured Matchup

Two-time Best Pot Song winner Sean Paul
versus
Big Box Behemoth Walmart


First, meet The Challenger.

S.P. won a Doobie in 2002 for “Gimme the Light”. To win a second Doobie, you might need politically controversial lyrics, for example:

Everyday we be burnin not concernin what nobody wanna say
We be earnin dollars turning cause we mind deh pon we pay

First Sean Paul reveals his libertarian streak. Then he speaks in some sort of code.

Some got gold and oil and diamonds all we got is Mary J
Legalize it, time to recognize it

Many mentions of drug use in rap/hip-hop/reggae amount to little more than glorification of getting messed up, and sometimes misogyny gets in the mix. (This is not to suggest women can't rhyme right back; more on this later.)

But here S.P. is engaging in real political speech! He's talking about justice! and what's more, he means it. From the High Times article:

Sean Paul has had run-ins with zealous police while practicing what he calls a "holy sacrament." He often wonders why his financially strapped homeland does not take fuller advantage of its number-one cash crop.

"The present government is talking about decriminalizing it," he says, skeptically. "Weed would do so much for the economy of my country. Just stop arresting people. Let it be."

Our Defending Champion reacts.

Check out the new and improved version:

Everyday we be burnin not concernin what nobody wanna say.
We be earnin dollars turning cause we mind de pon we pay.

BTW I hope the second line means something violently opposed to the goals of those for whom Walmart is bowdlerizing. However, I have no idea what it is to mind de pon we pay. BRACE YOURSELF FOR THE ALTERED LYRICS:

More than gold and oil and diamonds girls we need dem everyday.
Recognize it, time we realize it.

Dear Walmart,

I understand that economically you are probably a good thing. However, I am wondering if maybe you could sell printers for $24 delivered, and those gigantic pickle buckets for sixty-two cents, while at the same time being less of a dick. If not, I would like to understand in greater detail the circumstances which connect your excellent pickle and printer prices to the prickish pressure you impose on pop stars.

PLMK ASAP.

Thanx!
Joe

P.S. $24 is a good price, but less absurd than I'd imagined.

I mean to convey that the current legal regime arbitrarily preferences certain natural resources over others. The results for my people have been disastrous. The current arrangement seems to me economically bizarre. For those of you in the Midwest: I like bitches.

Related Notes I

I'm not a frequenter of the Walmart website, but it seems the Smiley Face Best Known for Rolling Back Prices has a less prominent status than (s)he did a few years ago. We all remember his/her less savory rollbacks; perhaps Walmart's PR peeps caught wind of the satire.


Related Notes II

It's not uncommon to hear complaints about how sex and violence is portrayed in, for example, rap music. If there is a class of songs which children should be shielded from, likely it would concern sexually explicit lyrics, in particular lyrics which glorify the degradation of one gender.

At least female rappers may reply with explicit lyrics of their own, a beautiful example of speech being countered by yet more speech. But still many rap albums demand Parental Advisory. WHY IS IT, THEN, that I might walk into a fast-food restaurant in midday and hear Mambo Number Five?

It's artistically inferior to even mildly competent rap music. Mambo's content is miserable and Mr. Bega uses language as well as Idahoans use chopsticks. PLUS MAMBO IS BAD FOR WOMEN. Read this trash!

A little bit of Monica in my life,
A little bit of Erica by my side.
A little bit of Rita's all I need,
A little bit of Tina's all I see.
A little bit of Sandra in the sun,
A little bit of Mary all night long.
A little bit of Jessica here I am,
A little bit of you makes me your man!!!!!!!!
Mambo number five.

Whereas thoughtful rappers like Biggie glorify the chase and explain how women drive them crazy, in Mr. Bega's world, women are practically thought of as spices.

IMHO this is bullshit. I would love to flip over the table in front of me, but my computer rests on top of it.


Related Notes III/Readers' Challenge

What is this product, exactly? It seems these plants must not contain THC. In earnest, what is the deal? Is Can of Bud awesome, or a grownup version of the kid in middle school who sold oregano? NOTE THE NON-RHETORICAL NATURE OF THIS QUESTION.

The can is round. The buds are round.