Ten questions for your day off

On Labor Day, relax by considering questions even an oscillating fan could answer, may he rest in peace.

I have an oscillating fan at home; it looks like it's saying 'Noo...' so I like to ask it questions that a fan would say 'no' to. "Do you keep my hair in place?" "Do you keep my documents in order?" "Do you have three settings?" Liar! My fan fuckin' lied to me! Now I will pull the pin up. Now you ain't sayin' shit!"

1. Is the Wu-Tang Clan anything to fuck with?


2. a. Is Andy Rooney in touch?
b. Insightful?
c. Incandescent ?

Did you ever notice that I'm annoying?

3. Should I subscribe to Psychology Today?


4. a. Should I wear this trucker hat backwards?
b. At all?

Did you ever notice that I'm annoying?

5. Do you want to come over and watch NASCAR?


6. How about a game of tic-tac-toe?

WTF happened here?

7. Do I look fat?


8. Does Chinatown smell great?


9. Wouldn't you rather be in Times Square right now?


10. Is Albert Pujols assailable?

Dear pitcher, You'll get 'em next time. Love, Albert